I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
