U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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