I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
