America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
