how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
