Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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