do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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