bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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