honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
