i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
