Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
