That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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