Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
