I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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