is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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