What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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