I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
