so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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