she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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