hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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