you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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