he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
