it wasn't lemon gatorade
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
40s are totally the cure
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
