I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
