I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
