The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
