went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
