I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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