something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
