i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's never too late to be topless.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
