Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
