when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
