ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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