i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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