quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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