Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Hypothermia
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
