How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
