It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
