your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
