no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
