It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
