Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
