so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
