Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
