sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
