ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Actions speak louder than pants.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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