I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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