just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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