meet me or not, i'm out of control
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
