I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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